Archive | January, 2013

Beginners

28 Jan

Can you imagine coming out of the closet in your late 70s?  Well, if you have trouble wrapping your head around it, the film “Beginners” portrays such a remarkable journey.  Starring Ewan McGregor and Christopher Plummer, “Beginners” details Plummer, who plays McGreggor’s father, coming out as a gay man in his late 70s after the recent death of his long-time wife.  Shortly after doing so, however, he’s diagnosed with cancer and McGreggor comes to take care of him in his final months.

Christopher Plummer in "Beginners"

Christopher Plummer in “Beginners”

This film struck me in many ways.  First of all, it’s a true story.  Mike Mills, who wrote and directed the movie, talks openly about his inspiration for the screenplay deriving from his elderly father’s own coming out process.  Second, Plummer’s award-winning performance is stunning.  His unabashed enthusiasm for his newly-found life and identity is infectious and his audacity to dive head-first into this new culture is admirable.  Third, McGreggor’s character really takes a turn when he soon grows jealous of his father’s new dating and social life, which forces him to question, at age 40, what’s holding him back from pursuing true love.

For most of my 20s, I have assumed “old age” is when you have everything figured out, when you’re anything but a beginner anymore, when you’ve somehow reached the master level of attainment and if anything, you have to learn how to let go of all that you’ve conquered because the inevitable is drawing near.  But Plummer’s character in “Beginners” altered that perception and once I accepted it, I began to think of various real-life examples of others who found themselves to be beginners at surprising stages in life.

My list was quite extensive.  Most notably, I know a woman who just turned 70 and for the first time in her entire adult life, has met the love of her life and is in the happy, healthy relationship she really deserves.  I have a good friend who is pushing 40 and just changed careers, doing something completely different than he was before.  I have another good friend who is for the first time completely sober and is looking at life with a clarity he never had prior and is approaching interpersonal relationships in an entirely new way.  I thought of myself, too, about how after having a play produced in several festivals Off-Off Broadway at age 15 and a musical for which I wrote the book and lyrics published at age 16, I knew exactly what I wanted to do career-wise at a very early age, yet I didn’t pursue social circles outside of my work or attempt to date and cultivate meaningful relationships until I was 25 or 26.  Upon embarking on that pursuit in my mid-20s, I felt like I had missed a boat everyone else had caught long before me and I was dog paddling in the water trying to catch up. I look back at my example and the examples of others and realize we all are destined to be beginners in one phase of life or another for the rest of our lives.  It never stops.

Being a beginner isn’t easy.  It requires vulnerability, courage and a trust that the dog paddling in the water will lead to something greater.  It’s the acceptance that you don’t have and will never have it all figured out and that the lessons will present themselves to you at the best time of learning, earlier or later than perhaps you’d like.  It’s natural to think, “I should have had this already” or question, “Why am I just now learning this and not ten years ago?”  Outrage at the Universe is common; anguish towards our life plan is to be expected.  Yet, being a beginner is a resolve that you can’t control the timeline of your life and accepting the path that is meant for you, not the one your ego thinks you want or need.  All of the characteristics that make us who we are aren’t meant to come together at once; instead, they blossom over the course of a lifetime at the perfect places for maximum learning.  “The Universe is perfect and its timing is perfect,” says James Van Praagh.  Our beginnings arrive at the perfect time.  I often repeat the mantra, “I trust my timeline and I trust my timeline’s timing” to remind me of this.

I have learned two important lessons in being a beginner.  First, relish it.  There is an excitement to it, an adventure into new territory and with it, a new hope. Second, hold onto your vision of what you hope the new beginning will bring; hold onto the image of yourself as no longer a beginner, but as having what you sought from it in the first place, as deserving it, as grateful for it.  The inspiration from your vision and the excitement of the unknown make being a beginner more manageable.  It ameliorates the fear and nurtures empowerment.

Ultimately, we begin, we end and in the meantime, all we can do is trust.  Beginnings are open doorways and open doorways are a path to change.

The Tadd Technique & The Third Eye – Interview with Ellen Tadd

14 Jan

Ellen Tadd - Clairvoyant & Past Life Therapist

Ellen Tadd – Clairvoyant & Past Life Therapist

About eight years ago, I had the life-changing experience of sitting down with clairvoyant and past life therapist, Ellen Tadd, for a private reading and consultation.  I was blown away by her natural clairvoyant ability to see and analyze some of my past lives, but also look deep into my soul and provide insight.  Ellen is a nationally-renowned author and lecturer whose two books include The Wisdom of the Chakras and Death and Letting Go.

Most recently, Ellen has been lecturing on the importance of viewing life from your third eye to facilitate wise decision-making and decrease turmoil and stress.  This has since been dubbed The Tadd Technique and I had the great pleasure of asking Ellen several questions regarding this.

Ellen, give us a brief background on how you became a professional clairvoyant and past life therapist.  Where did it all begin and what keeps you interested in continuing this work today?

I had many clairvoyant experiences as a child, however I did not embrace my sensitivity – but slept with my light on and felt frightened by experiences that my brothers didn’t seem to be having. It wasn’t until I was nineteen and my deceased mother came back and spoke to me that I began to realized that my clairvoyance was a gift.

Soon after that awakening I began to have contact with guides from spiritual realms, who became my teachers. Through them I learned about the tremendous impact our past lives have on our present life experience. Understanding our previous lives helps us to make sense of why our current life is as it is and what our purpose is on earth. I never get tired of learning about the meaning beneath our human condition.

A focus of your work  is encouraging others to view life and its accompanying situations from the third eye, a technique that has now been dubbed “The Tadd Technique” after you.  Most of us were told to “go with our gut” when making tough decisions, as the stomach, the solar plexus, is traditionally where we believe truth lies.  Why view life from the third eye versus the solar plexus or elsewhere in the body? And when you say “view,” what exactly do you mean?

The Tadd Technique is an exercise that compares perception from the solar plexus, (the gut) with perception from the third eye. I have taught this technique to thousands of people and almost everyone gets right away that perception from the third eye, located in the middle of the forehead, is much wiser then perception from the gut. 

The solar plexus, the gut, is not a bad center, but rather the center of human emotion. While the third eye is the center of spiritual perception and wisdom. My guides say, “Perception informs feeling.” Feelings alone come from many places, fear, clarity, influence from others. Living from the gut can become very confusing. The third eye has an objectivity, a lack of attachment and a wide perspective. It is also the chakra of focus and concentration. In fact the way that the third eye is activated is focus and concentration, nothing else will work.

Are we sacrificing emotion in decision-making when using the third eye over the solar plexus?

Perception from the third eye does not repress emotion, it transforms it. For example, a common gut reaction is to feel angry or frustrated when our circumstance does not go the way we want. A third eye perspective looks for the learning and responds with wisdom, rather then reaction.

An example of a perception using the solar plexus versus the third eye I like to tell is when I first moved to New York four years ago.  Apprehensive of the move, I would stay up late at night quite restless with the thought, “New York is scary, it will be brutal to live in and the city will eat me alive.” Yet when I moved that perception up to my third eye, the thought instead was: “New York will be difficult at first, but there will be opportunity there unlike anywhere else.” Do you have any examples that are similar – perhaps real-life situations and the differences in perception in looking through the third eye versus the solar plexus?

I have innumerable examples. My guides first pointed out the power of the third eye to me almost thirty years ago. I was in a grocery store when suddenly I was having chest pain and numbness down my arm. I became frightened that I was having a heart attack and didn’t want to die and leave my young children. My guide gently whispered, “Focus, focus, focus, read the label on the milk carton.” In that moment I discovered that it was impossible to be frightened and focused at the same time. When I was focused I saw that I would be ok. The third eye is the center of clarity.

Is “third eye living” a characteristic that you think more and more people will adopt as part of the shift of 2013?  If society as a whole were to view life from the third eye more, what would the benefits on a macro level be?

I have observed that when people experience The Tadd Technique they begin to aspire to live life looking through their forehead, because quality of life goes up and decisions made from the third eye are wise decisions.

If we had a society that valued wisdom above intellect we would have a much improved world. There are many educated people who aren’t wise and many wise people who aren’t educated. Wisdom is a different faculty, it is the ability to see the far reaching impact.

What are some techniques or strategies we can incorporate in our daily lives that ingrains viewing life from the third eye?  It’s an adjustment for most of us since we are so accustomed to “going with our gut.”  How can we practically recalibrate ourselves to move up that perception to the center of the forehead?

The first strategy is to be self aware. Pay attention to where you are focused when you feel reactionary or in emotional turmoil and when you feel emotionally balanced and clear. At times of reaction or confusion try focusing on a point, the corner of a picture frame or the end of a branch. Concentration will activate the third eye. 

I often tell people that making the change from solar plexus perception to third eye perception is very much like improving bad posture. If you have bad posture and relax, you will continue to have poor posture. Vigilance is needed to change a habit. Keep a careful watch in order to assess where you are focused through out your day and then use discipline to change your focus and make the adjustment. Gradually you develop a new habit.

The theme of this website is open doorways.  Obviously, embarking on a life goal to live from the third eye can open many doorways to greater, higher learning and experiences.  In closing, what are some of the doorways that can open up for us when we choose to live life from the third eye?

Living life from the third eye perspective helps us to make better decisions which has many positive far reaching ramifications. I have found also that this approach helps people to sustain emotional balance rather then living in emotional turmoil, improving relationships and health. The third eye is a pivot away and changes our perception to include a spiritual perspective. Our perceptions inform our feelings and our feelings motivate our actions. Therefore, living from the third eye can change everything.

I have a youtube video that walks people through The Tadd Technique. My best advice is to try it and experience the difference for yourself.