Archive | June, 2013

Worrying Warriors

20 Jun



“She says to stop worrying,” clairvoyant Ellen Tadd tells me a few years ago while channeling my deceased grandmother.  “She is giving me the impression she spent a lot of time worrying while on earth and now looks back, as many of us do when we cross over and is asking, ‘Why did I worry so when you can just trust the natural flow of life?'”

Ironically, this is not the only time a medium has contacted my grandmother and it’s not the only time she’s told me to stop worrying.  Think our loved ones on the other side can’t hear our innermost thoughts and neurotic brain waves?  Think again.  They’re probably up there rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.

Lately, I have been plagued with excessive worry.  I am experiencing a lot of changes professionally, personally, even physically and I’m on the cusp of manifesting even more big changes all on those fronts.  But there is a lot of fear surrounding these desires, both about the reality of them manifesting, but also not manifesting soon enough.  Lately, I’ve been waking up at 5:30 AM, eyes wide open, terrified about the dismal, unrealistic possibilities that could lie ahead.  (I think a lot of this has to do with turning 30 at the end of the year, as well.)  Today, I woke up about that time and after tossing and turning with a loud, beating heart I got up at 7 and went for a walk.  After all, when I listen to Passion Pit on my iPod it always seems like whatever I’m going through, they’re going through something way more intense.

As I’m walking around my neighborhood in Brooklyn, I’m surprised to see as many people as I do up and at it, running to the train, starting their early day.  I get into a nice rhythm and flow when I hear loud and clear from one of my guides, “There he goes — the worrying warrior.”

I start to laugh under my breath, hearing their message loud and clear.  At first, I’m amused with the ever-present sense of humor my guides display, but when I think about the phrase more in depth, I realize they are totally right.  While I’m strong, confident and secure in what I want and what I’m fighting for, while others can’t see it on my face, I am a total worry wort about absolutely everything.  I look around at all the early morning people running to Manhattan to start their day, wondering how many of them, too, are worrying warriors, how many of us appear strong and secure, but deep down are in a constant panic.

The Aforementioned Worrying Warrior

The Aforementioned Worrying Warrior

Later that day, I was searching through my pictures in my phone and came across a photo of the whiteboard that hangs next to my bed.  See, when my guides say something particularly profound I like to write it on this whiteboard so that I see it when I go to sleep at night and wake up to it first thing in the morning.  A while ago, my guides delivered the most profound message that related to this very topic and there it was, glaring me in the face on my phone through a picture.  The message on the whiteboard read: “When worry surrounds the want, it impedes the desire.  Want something and then receive it.  Lose the worrying.”

I can remember writing that quote on the board and thinking how genius it was at the time, marveling at the brevity and succinctness of the syntax.  I thought about the reality of worry impeding desire and I immediately thought of past and present scripts of mine.  Some plays or screenplays are easy to write; they flow, you get them on paper, you finish them somewhat quickly and then you move on.  Others take a lot more time, are a lot more terrifying and I’ve experienced being so scared and fraught with fear over a project, that I have actually caused myself to lose passion for it and become apathetic.  My excessive worry impeded my desire and some of those scripts never wound up getting finished.

Worry, when left unchecked, can ruin intent.

Between these messages from my guides that were slowly adding up that day, I began to understand more clearly what my grandmother on the other side was talking about.  Worrying can create a cold distance between our true desires and wants, not only significantly delaying their manifestation, but also subconsciously sabotoging them entirely.  I think there’s a mental blockage many of us have about the simplicity of wanting something and receiving it, too.  We are conditioned to think the Universe doesn’t work that way, it involves a lot more struggle and heartache to get what we want and many of us even were conditioned to think worrying was actually a process and step in manifesting.  Yet in reality, it clouds the desire around it and can leave us desire-less.

So from my whiteboard to yours, I leave you with a picture of the concise advice I woke up to one morning.  It left me with the question: Are we warriors ready for battle in a new way?