Yelling At Winter

7 Feb

We have the power to alter our lives in whatever direction we choose.  I really believe that.  I’ve seen it work firsthand for me with a large vision board that hangs prominently on my wall.  Image by image, word by word, I am witnessing these desires slowly manifest and it’s proof to me that most undoubtedly, we have the free will to shape our destiny.  

Except, of course, when we can’t.

As human beings, we are still subject to time.  And the act of receiving something — a partner, a new job, that writing gig you’ve been dreaming of for years — can take years to find its way to you.  Not because the Universe is slow; but, manifestation functions through Divine timing, not the minute-by-minute measurement tool we use on Earth.  The expression “seasons of life” ring true; at some times, we are meant to be doing one thing; others, we’re meant to be doing something else.  I have had a difficult time learning this lesson.  It seems I am in a truly bizarre season of my life.

Realistically, my day-to-day involves great isolation.  I work alone, I write alone, I run errands alone, there are days where I don’t talk to anyone, there are times when a text message conversation is my only interaction of the day.  Now, before you start judging, I have to qualify this here — I asked for this.  I told Spirit years ago that I wanted to work from home, to have a life completely dedicated to my writing.  I wanted total immersion, I wanted a sharp focus, I wanted no distractions.  And I got it.  Boy oh boy, did I get it, and while I’m reaping the benefits, I’m also coping with the disadvantages.  I’m lonely.

One day, in particular several months ago, I remember being totally livid.  I couldn’t believe that at this time in my life I was having such little fun.  “All I do is work,” I kep thinking.  “This is sad, this is pathetic.”  I sat in my kitchen, I put my head in my hands and I said, “Spirit, explain to me what’s happening right now.  I don’t understand.”

I waited. I took a breath. And then, very clearly, Spirit simply told me: “You’re yelling for summer to be here in the middle of winter.”

Me Yelling at Winter.

Me Yelling at Winter.

I stopped. I looked out my window. The snow was stacking on top of itself on the sidewalks outside; I imagined myself out there in the streets, slipping on the icy sidewalks, yelling and screaming at the on pouring of flakes coming at us for spring to just get here already. I realized how insane I would look if I did this, if I were to stand outside and yell at winter … because it’s winter.  And I understood, with great alacrity, what Spirit was trying to show me.

With the knowledge we can shape our destiny, we must also remember to accept the season of our life.

While free will will always hold true, it’s equally important to know there are times in our lives where we must simply experience the experience.  My experience of isolation in order to immerse myself in my work is the season in which I find myself; it cannot be changed, it cannot be redone, it’s clear to me I must experience this and I must see it through. 

Paraphrasing Iyanla Vanzant, she urges people to “enjoy the exits and detours of each byway and highway of life.”  Yes, this is easier to do when that stretch of highway is a fun one.  But what about when it isn’t?  During trying times, I urge you to remind yourself, as I have, that this phase of life, this small fraction of my time here in this body, this bizarre extended season I can’t seem to get out of, is one small part of a greater journey of my experience.  This season of my life does not define me, yet I must experience it.  This season of my life is one stop, among many, down the highway I’m meant to go down.

Accept the season, enjoy the snow.  When you move onto summer, there are no doubt things you will miss when it was cold.

 

One Response to “Yelling At Winter”

  1. Matt February 7, 2014 at 2:06 pm #

    Enjoy the exits and detours! Once the highway zips you off again you may be longing for one! Then all of a sudden the “boring” time might feel nostalgically like a time of peace and serenity.

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